Lets Flirt and Die Happy

I desire the things that will destroy me in the end (Sylvia Plath)

I didn’t want any flowers, I only wanted to lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty….how free it is, you have no idea how free (Sylvia Plath)

I don’t know what people mean when they say ‘relationship’ material, or ‘wife’ material. What is that? Cotton? Kind of dry cleaning material? Wash in warm water, without soap? All I know is that people are too serious about life that sometimes it escapes them, slides off their palm…and they stop living. Or maybe I am the one who isn’t serious about life…and I don’t know which between the two is supposed to be right. Things exaggeratedly excite us that all the time we are walking on life’s path, we skid and fall, trip on thorns and all. Relax people. Relax. It is never that serious.

I am a staunch member of this ‘flirtationship’ dogma. Here, we preach insanity and a little pinch of sanity, ‘unseriousness’, freshness and all. Things here are kept fresh! Let us not kid each other. There are many flirtationships that go on in our wrapped up boxes. In the wake of the day, we can’t just wait to hear the click sound, or see the red star, or the (1)…depending on the twitter client one is using.

I will tell you what I think of flirtationships. They are amazing. They are fresh. We spoil it all when we start putting tags on things. ‘This here is a relationship’…’and this here is a marriage’. I wish we could try playing loose, not in the real sense of the word, but you know what I mean. Stop labelling things! Labelling things fronts responsibilities and expectations. People rarely deliver. Thus I think you are safer not labelling. Put it in a box but don’t label…if it turns out as sugar, well and good…if it turns out as poison…well, die happily. You had your five good minutes!

Unfortunately, life is not edged  and smoothened as well as I would love to have it. At a certain point and time, people expect you to vow an undying commitment to a certain person. After a while, this commitment is   supposed to bear fruit and birth a ring on a finger. Nuptials thereafter. Subsequently, we are supposed to put up with heartbreaks, Mpango wa kando, bad sex, even no sex….all this just because life is the way it is and people are human! We then get used to each other, too used to each other that the staleness pongs! We become too acquainted with each other that we start taking shortcuts. One call or text is enough for a day! ‘But I called you this morning?’…’ Shit, I have to buy her flowers on Valentine’s day’…have to’s, expected to’s…see? It is all methodical and boring! ..life becomes a schedule, like an alarm that goes off every morning or a Tuesday that comes every Tuesday! I call it living as if we are planning death.

So what is a girl like me to do…who wants it all fresh and random all the time? What’s a girl to do who can’t stand falling in hopeless despair for a man? To be hopelessly at the feet of a someone… creating opportunities for disappointment? Don’t you think that this hopelessness is something we create as human beings? Moving away all the furniture that occupies our hearts to create space for bouncing balls that will most definitely bounce out. Why do I have to invest in that when I can flirt away with a particular person..who cares about me…and whom I care about, with no big expectations…no lines drawn.

A very good friend of mine once told me that it is very easy to fall in love with someone, what is hard is staying! I wonder if it is possible to fall in love with someone and still keep it a flirtationship. Flirt in love! Well, Maybe I am selfish, and I am on the wrong path of pursuit for happiness! But seriously, why does it have to be all regular and boring …all methodical….why are you just about to ask me ‘after the flirting, then what’… there has to be a then what? Can’t we live without thinking about tomorrow? I have two people in me . One wants to follow this set of rules, to create a space for this emptiness to occupy, to have a probable heartbreaker to tag on my arm…because there is fullness to this emptiness, a kind of a thereafter and long-term satisfaction. However, my shadow just wants to be random. I just want to have my cake and still eat it… to just be slack with it. I do not want to create expectations, responsibilities… I do not want to be disappointed.

In other news, @Marvo3

He said

I said

I do not need to introduce him. He is the man who gave clinical questions a new definition. He just does not care, he blurts it out there in the open, unpunctuated, ‘unweighed’! @Marvo3  makes it to my blog because I know a few lot of us out there with the same problem, and that I know people have started looking at me with this facet in mind. Clear the dirt in your eyes people. I won’t bite. Sometimes when people behave in such a linguistically decadent way, a nut snaps! I mean, what he asked was not bad by the way. I wish he had the art in him to craft it in a stimulating way! If you are going to ask something shallow, ask it in a very ingenious way…redirect the stare from the shallowness of your content. Again, twitter is not a brothel. It is not somewhere you will find girls lined up for a handshake and a push into a toilet for a quick one. Mbieiv! And If you have to pick up lasses, there are ways…there is an appropriate rhetoric! Do some research!

Judge me now.#okthanksbye